USA Book News Award-Winning Finalist Best Books 2010 2011 National Indie Excellent Book Awards Winning Finalist in “Spirituality and African-American Non-Fiction”! Publishers Weekly (Review -August 2010) Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert's Search for Spiritual Community Enuma Okoro, Upper Room/Fresh Air, $17.95 (192p) ISBN 978-1-935205-10-4 A woman struggles to find her place in the Christian community in this elegant and witty memoir. Okoro is deeply devoted to God--trouble is, she's never felt comfortable in her worship environment. As a woman of Nigerian heritage who was raised both Catholic and Anglican, her personal faith is never fulfilled by worship. She longs to belong to a loving, empowering church, but as she grows in her faith, she also grows more distant from organized religion. Although the author admits that there is nothing remarkable about her life story, she hopes her spiritual journey--and her strengthened relationship to God--will inspire others to never stop searching for their Christian home. Okoro's memoir echoes the pathos, joy, and humor of Elizabeth Gilbert in this theological quest to find meaning in worship and Christian community. The author's clever and poignant writing keeps readers enthralled at her every triumph and personal trial, and it speaks to anyone who's struggled to reconcile faith and ways of worship. (Oct.) Hearts and Minds Books (Dec 2010) Englewood Review of Books “Vulnerable Honesty” A Review of Reluctant Pilgrim:
A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert’s
Search for Spiritual Community. 
By Enuma Okoro. Reviewed by Jasmine Wilson. Paperback: Fresh Air Books, 2010.
Buy now: [ Amazon ] Never in my life did I expect to read about Brazilian wax jobs from a Christian writer, especially in a chapter about a friend being diagnosed with cancer. But that’s the type of writing that Enuma Okoro offers in Reluctant Pilgrim. If I was writing this review for Focus on the Family, they would probably want me to count how many swear words appeared in the book. In fact, Focus on the Family would probably be appalled that swear words appeared in a Christian book at all.  Most Christian literature is well-packaged and clean, unwilling to be honest about how the world is sometimes a shitty place. Okoro, however, is unafraid of being vulnerable and honest about what she’s feeling, experiencing, or what she and her girlfriends talk about. She finds God and his grace in all areas of life, including the mundane, awkward, and sometimes shitty. Okoro knows in her head that God works through the church and that the church is an important part of being a Christian. Yet she suffers from an interesting dilemma: she doesn’t like going to church. She says, “[This book] is about my rocky on-again, mostly off-again, love affair with the idea of church.” She admits she prefers drinking coffee and reading the New York Times instead of going to church, and for many years made excuses for herself so she didn’t have to go.  Despite her self-admitted failings at not being very Christ-like most of the time, she still longed for the church and didn’t give up on it because she trusted God’s promise that he would show up, even when it didn’t seem like he did. What one finds through Okoro’s intimate narration, is that throughout all the hardships she goes through—her friend getting cancer, the deaths of her father and her dear friend Michael—she still had friends gracefully showing up to be with her through it all, always willing to listen, showing up in “a white lab coat, fashionable dress shoes and a tank of oxygen so [she] could perhaps start to breathe again.” We are invited to be one of Okoro’s friends during this book as she has gracefully decided to be intimate and honest with us about herself—her messy, imperfect, unexpectedly sinful self. And yet, we relate to her because we are messy and sinful too. Her struggle with loving the church is perhaps not something we all struggle with, but we can relate with her in the honest telling of the struggle. And the discrepancy between what the church often is and what it should be is a charge for all of us: “I can’t remember the last time I heard a sermon that threatened me with endless grace, no matter my circumstances…” We get glimpses of those circumstances through the variety of church experiences she’s had throughout her life. Yet her story ends with hope. Eventually she found a church that she was guilted into attending because her friend was the pastor. In the new members’ class they took a spiritual gifts test, and even though Okoro checked “seldom” for most of the boxes, she still realized that this church was going to expect something from her, expect her to offer her gifts, whatever they were, to the ecclesial table and to the community beyond. It is clear that her work as a writer is done in service to the church, and her vulnerable honesty and insights about the world are a gift of grace to all those who happen to read it. Recent Press: Latest Advent reflection on abc news Good Morning America abc news Good MorningAmerica USA Book News Religion News   Christian News Wire Holy Events What Fellow Pilgrims Are Saying... Okoro’s story about one woman’s yearning for holy community with God and others is jazzy, bitingly funny, wistful, and poignant. It is terrifyingly honest and, above all else, very beautiful… Phyllis Tickle (General Editor, The Seven Ancient Practices Series) This is one of those books that you read, and then have to sit back or curl up in a ball and "be still and know".  In these honest, tear-stained pages are clear signs that there is a "Hound of Heaven" hunting us down... this Spirit that is stalking us with love, winking at us with miracles, tickling us with grace, subverting everything that could destroy us, and whispering in our ears that we are truly beloved. Shane Claiborne author, activist, recovering sinner www.thesimpleway.org If indeed it is the truth that sets us free, this book's honest account of life in and out of the community called church has power to liberate a generation desperate for authentic relationship. Enuma is the real deal. Follow her to freedom. Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, author, speaker, & new monastic (www.jonathanwilsonhartgrove.com) Amazon Reader Reviews (6) 1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Reluctant Pilgrim Review, October 19, 2010 By  Flipflop Fan - See all my reviews This review is from: Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert's Search for Spiritual Community (Paperback) Enuma Okoro has created a painfully honest and beautiful book in Reluctant Pilgrim. In a time when we all regularly hear sensationalized and trivial stories about people who are famous simply for being famous, this book provides exactly the opposite - a deep and honest search for the components of a meaningful life, and a description of the author's own quest to find spiritual community. To take the reader on this journey she gives us just enough background on her nontraditional and multicultural upbringing, weaving in stories from various places the author has called home, which include the UK, the USA and Nigeria. Her descriptive abilities provide amazing glimpses at the cultures and experiences that have shaped her faith and her beliefs, and show where her experiences with organized religion have both failed and sustained her. I enjoyed reading the entire book, but the most gorgeous descriptive passages to me were the raw, emotive segments where the author describes her reaction to loss and death of her father and friend. Yet, this book does not dwell in depression, but instead glorifies the healing power of friendship (particularly female friendship), and the incredible ways that God sneaks into unexpected places in our lives. Both theological and irreverent, Ms Okoro bares her soul for the sake of a true story to be told; it is a journey worth taking. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you?  Report abuse | Permalink Comment Comment   1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Deeply affecting!, October 19, 2010 By  Maresi - See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from: Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert's Search for Spiritual Community (Paperback) Reluctant Pilgrim is the sort of book every person needs to read right after they leave college or by age 30, whichever comes first. Even if you've never left the US or even the confines of the place where you grew up, the journey Enuma takes us on is one relatable to many of us. We will all experience loss in our lives and reading about Enuma's losses felt so real, so raw, so tender. She puts into words what many of us have felt in our hearts. Her dissection/explanation of the Apostle's Creed is inspired. Her search for community is universal. I loved this book. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you?  Report abuse | Permalink Comment Comment   1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Not Your Typical Regligious Memoir - Truly Memorable!, October 17, 2010 By  amelia sondgeroth (AUSTIN, TEXAS, US) - See all my reviews This review is from: Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert's Search for Spiritual Community (Paperback) I could not put this book down the first time I read it and now I'm rereading the parts I really liked. Okoro is truly a gifted writer and she spoke directly to me in so many places throughout the book. I think others will also relate to her way of thinking and writing. Truly memorable and can't wait to read more works by Enuma.    1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful, honest and funny, October 17, 2010 By  Amy Grunewald - See all my reviews This review is from: Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert's Search for Spiritual Community (Paperback) I read this book in a few days with a newborn at home! I couldn't put it down even when I should have been sleeping. I kept thinking how many friends I have that would feel heard by reading Enuma's book -- and maybe willing to try church again someday. Beautifully written honesty is hard to come by, here it is. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you?  Report abuse | Permalink Comment Comment 1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars SOUL FOOD. "maybe God is the urge to laugh" - Rumi, October 10, 2010 By  reader - See all my reviews This review is from: Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert's Search for Spiritual Community (Paperback) Two words: Soul Food. I heard Enuma Okoro on NPR speaking of her pilgrimage toward Christianity: a quiet, articulate and humorous Nigerian/American/Citizen of the World with ties and whole lives spanning five other countries at the tender age of 35. And so I had to get Reluctant Pilgrim. I expected a sprightly, intelligent collection of essays on Christianity. What I did not expect was to be brought to tears in the first twenty pages and to find a companion on the journey I call 'life as a spirit in a body.' Okoro writes with grace and zest and she is not just woolgathering; she has a solid background in theology and has been a pilgrim for decades, yet she is not judgmental, pedantic, boring or over pious -- compare her to Anne Lamott or Garrison Keillor, if you like. Most importantly, she has much knowledge, experience belying her youth, and she artfully gets it all down on paper as a cohesive, gently masterful story -- what it is to be full of faith and full of doubt, what it is to seek the face of God and find the unexpected answers, literally, in the ground beneath one's feet. Too many "coincidences" in my own life have lent me to believe in a power that knows and sees all, and it is a benevolent force, an inclusive trinity. I tell you: this book will change you and it will provide not just some answers to the question: What is spiritual community in our times? ... it will offer up some fresh insight into the human condition, which I believe has a ways to go before it can call itself evolved. I felt a companion in this author, and I felt the dual presence of skill and compassion. I ask for nothing more from this much needed genre of literature. Highly recommended. Oh yes. A book to get and to gift to those in these abundantly troubled times. Soul Food. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews   Was this review helpful to you?  Report abuse | Permalink Comment Comment   1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars 3 Cheers for RP, October 8, 2010 By  samuca - See all my reviews This review is from: Reluctant Pilgrim: A Moody, Somewhat Self-Indulgent Introvert's Search for Spiritual Community (Paperback) Three cheers for Enuma Okoro and her new book, Reluctant Pilgrim! Along with my 3 cheers, here are 3 reasons-besides being Enuma's friend-that I get behind this book. 1) All over the pages of Enuma's memoirs, I find the following paradox: only by fixing our imaginations on the weight of God's glory/life with God (2 Cor. 4:17) can we loosen the grip of control on our own lives and lighten up enough to embrace the risk of living for God. It's the same point that Chesterton made about the saints: what strikes us about them is not that they were joy-killers, but rather that they were enjoy-ers. In other words, the lives of the saints shine before us not because of their gravity, but because of their lightness-"the bearable lightness of being" (to undo Kundera's phrase!). In RP, this is much more than Enuma just being funny, although she is downright hilarious! And this is more than Enuma being able to write eloquently about the death of her father and the sudden loss of a dear friend without getting crushed under the blow. It has to do with the lesson that she learned about not being the center of universe. It has to do with the way her sense of humor shines through to say: "The only way I know NOT to take my life/pilgrimage too seriously is to take God more seriously." 2) Like Paul in Philippians 3, Enuma's own testimony is about a follower who is "pressing on" by steering clear of the two main obstacles that all pilgrims face: getting lost and giving up. She's definitely not lost AND she shows us what "not giving up" looks like: not settling for anything less than life together with God. 3) RP also a brings to life a third aspect of pilgrimage-the Christian life as a struggle. Here, Enuma does not romanticize struggle by turning herself into a hero, nor does she cast struggle as the problem itself-the problem to be overcome. What she does, in fact, is block off the escape route to the land of "Struggle-free Christianity." That she throws down the gauntlet on "struggle-free Christianity" might strike some as bad news. But I suspect many so-called seekers (and believers alike) would appreciate overhearing Christians describe life with God as a struggle. After all, one of the most treasured psalms of the Christian faith-Psalm 23-does not promise exemptions from life's struggles, but that "even in the valley of the shadow of death.....," God will be with us. Thank God for a such a great take on what it looks like to travel with the God who is Emmanuel! 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